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Sales rejection is crippling. It fills you with anxiety and forces you into a corner, eating at you as you try to figure out how to keep your numbers good. I know, because I’ve been in and out of sales for a lifetime – and I used to hate it. One of the biggest reasons I hated selling was based on ego. I hated being told no. Not getting my way has always ridden my nerves, but getting rejected pinched even more when my money’s on the line. Nevertheless, accepting rejection gracefully has always been one of the finer arts of being a master at sales. Here are three of my favorite tips for managing rejections during a sale.

1. You can’t take it personal

It’s easy to blame yourself when things aren’t moving in your favor. With that being said, you can’t dig into yourself simply because your sales aren’t as high as you’d like. Sometimes, you can improve your sales flow, but other times there’s nothing you can do to improve the situation.

There are always other factors influencing your client’s decision to buy. Whenever a client says no, consider what she’s not telling you. She might be down to her last few dollars until payday. She might have other things on her plate, like business expenses or last month’s electric bill. She might have three other offers to consider. Or, she just may not be feeling your sales approach.

No matter what, you can’t take it personal. Sh*t happens. What matters is that you treat every opportunity as a learning experience for improvement.

2. You’ve got to control your emotions

Most clients aren’t won on the first, second, or third attempts, but most salespeople aren’t strong enough to push past those first few rejections. You know why? Because their emotions get in the way.

We’re human, and we have fragile egos. We’re constantly seeking the need for approval at the most inopportune times, especially as salespeople. This demand for acceptance is deadly in social situations, but even more lethal in professional ones. It weakens our energy, dilutes the strength of our convictions and makes us appear less confident.

When you fear rejection, you’re seeking approval. You’re seeking validation in places where it doesn’t belong. Forget being emotionally validated by strangers. Disengage your emotions from the need for approval and shift into a zone where emotional validation stems from within. Attach your hugs and kisses the sweet and savory smell of Benjis, and you’ll become less attached to the rejection that comes with the territory.

3. You’ve got to understand customer objections

During the sales conversation, rejections are rich with information that tells you why the prospect isn’t buying. As the adage goes, objections aren’t rejections, but requests for more information. So let’s look at a common objection and how to overcome it.

Lack of Urgency aka “I’m going to keep looking.”

Customers who respond with lack of urgency fail to see the impact of your product. They aren’t getting a full picture of how your product will improve the quality of their life, and this is usually because you’re not appealing to the customer’s emotions with your approach. We definitely buy with emotions and justify with logic, so learn the deeper aspirations held by your customer – what they want to accomplish through the use of said product – and tie the fulfillment of those aspirations to your product’s performance and functionality.

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